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edmonton
This was without a doubt one of the best nights of my life, and it while made me so incredibly happy it also makes me sad because I honestly don't know how anything can ever live up this greatness. Watching Beyoncé while she's currently at the top of her career (which I totally thought after she released self-titled, how does she keep doing this???) from ten feet away absolutely crush her vocals while killing some amazing choreography as a 40-foot screen set off some of the most stunning visuals to complement everything .... where does it go from here? Will I have to quit my job and spend all my money so I can keep following Beyoncé's tour to stay happy? Beyoncé, can you please just hire me as your tour photographer??
Throughout the show I was so torn between being completely present in the moment and preserving our memories with photos and videos. I compromised by taking five second videos so I could stare intently at her face while still having a short clip I could watch on loop while lying in bed. Being the person that I am, I couldn't help but snap photos whenever I thought something looked amazing - which turned out to be a lot of the time.
Anyways. I'm glad I did take photos because I can look back on them and still remember the intense emotions I was feeling at the time. Here are some of my favourites.
Before this year I didn't really act much on what I really wanted to do. I would just imagine what my life would be like if I were a photographer. I would take photography seriously but not serious enough. It was always "what if?" and "maybe not". It was just a hope, always in the distance. I was studying something I really, really did not want to do and even though I tried to grind my way through it, there was no way I could lie to myself and think that I was actually happy in the field I was in. I was miserable. It was not what I wanted to do. It finally got so bad that I snapped and suddenly this wasn't a dream, suddenly this was the only thing I wanted to do and it weighed so heavily in my heart that suddenly all my fears were nothing. Yes, I'll switch majors. Yes I will practice and get good at this and the maybe's started becoming definitely's. One night at two in the morning I made a website. I bought a new camera. I spent a whole summer saving up for the only thing I've really wanted to do since I was sixteen.
Looking back on the year, 2012 was pretty big for me. I put myself out there and really tried, and I'm pretty sure it's working. I've never been happier, really; I've met so many great people who have helped me out a ton, both in giving me advice and encouragement and in pushing my limits in what I can do. I've started taking pictures that I am actually proud of. I've got a whole bunch of people I love and who are so supportive sometimes I just lie in bed at night and think about what a lucky person I am. 2012 was very good to me and I'm really excited to keep moving forward and seeing where I end up a year, two years, ten years from now.
I'm just really excited about life in general, and before this year, I don't think I could have really honestly said that.
